Just because you have decided to consider mediation, it doesn’t mean your spouse will agree. It is important to be respectful of your spouse’s reservations. Simply stating that mediation will save money may not be enough. Your spouse will understandably be aware that divorce is a huge step, and may feel having his/her own attorney is the only route to go.

My past experience is that you should point out that mediation is better for the children. In litigation where mudslinging and insults are sometimes freely exchanged, relationships can fray. We are all human and if our spouse has written an affidavit likening one to Jack the Ripper, it is difficult to sit down that evening at the dinner table with the kids and pretend nothing has happened. And if you act out in front of the children, the effect on them can be terrible.

Of course, expense remains a large consideration in choosing mediation over litigation. Litigating your case will erase a great deal of your savings. That is simply a fact.

If your partner is concerned about not being personally represented, remind him/her that he or she can always have a review attorney examine any draft agreement prepared by the mediator. This is a low-cost alternative that may allay that concern.

Your partner’s objections should never be dismissed or rejected rudely.

I spent forty years litigating divorce cases. I firmly believe that mediation is a great way to save money and time during a difficult step in your life. You may wish to suggest to a reluctant partner that you both have a free consultation with the mediator. Talking to someone like me can give you a better insight into the process of mediation and what the steps are to a successful interaction.

If you wish to schedule an initial consultation please contact me at 212-605-0435 or 516-280-3123.