I have written elsewhere my confusion why so many parents choose litigation over mediation. Some parents have told me they feel more comfortable being in a clear adversarial position represented by good counsel. Others have said they simply could not sit in the same room across a table from their spouse and hope to negotiate directly with that spouse. This and other considerations are reasonable ones. However, leaving aside for the moment that mediation can place parties in different rooms if they so wish, I still feel mediation is the smarter alternative. The first reason, correctly touted by every mediator, is that it is less expensive. This is very true and should not be ignored. Divorce litigation is prohibitively expensive.

The second reason I espouse mediation perhaps is not so apparent. When your divorce is signed and filed, your days of negotiating with your spouse do not come to an end. The best settlement agreement cannot cover every contingency. There will be many times when you will need to discuss with your ex how to handle a particular problem involving the children. I submit this is a skill like any other skill and involved practice. I further submit the best way to develop this skill is to negotiate directly with your spouse (and having a mediator present). In entering mediation both parties will have a vested interest to make it work. Secondly, consider for a moment how empowering it is to achieve a successful mediation. You and your spouse will have improved upon your new relationship as divorced parties and presumably picked up a few skills in dealing with future crises.

It’s certainly worth a try.

If you wish to schedule an initial consultation, please contact me at 212-605-0435 or 516-280-3123.