My approach, and that of most mediators, is to schedule an in-person session where I review the various issues the parties may have to get divorced. During pandemic times, this has been accomplished through zoom sessions. I advise the parties as to the legal perspective on their issues and advise what information I will need to start evaluating the maximum settlement options for the parties. I also advise them that each party is welcome to retain a consulting attorney to review my suggestions, if they so wish.

Once I have obtained verbal agreement from the parties as to solutions, I start drafting a stipulation of settlement (a legal contract) that memorializes those agreements. Sometimes, just to make sure everyone is comfortable with the settlement, I send the parties a term sheet highlighting the major points before I start draft the stipulation. If difficulties arise, we schedule as many rounds of meetings as necessary to secure a final agreement that meets with the clients’ satisfaction.

Another term you will hear is a review attorney. That is an attorney you can hire for the specific purpose of reviewing our final draft. This is to be distinguished from a consulting attorney who works with a single client from day one. Keep in mind these additional attorneys are not necessary. Many, if not most, parties do not hire additional attorneys. It is entirely your option.

Once the agreement is signed, you are legally separated (the agreement is a legal contract) but not divorced. If you wish, like most, to proceed to divorce we need to draft and file a whole series of court documents that will be filed with the court along with your agreement. The Office of the Clerk of the Court reviews this submission and ultimately signs a Judgment of Divorce. The length of time for the Clerk’s Office varies from county to county.