Should You Get a Divorce? Part III

YOU HAVE STOPPED TALKING

It is a commonplace observation, possibly true (though I know many exceptions), that women talk more than men. Nevertheless, when your marriage started out, you both established a base line of communication. If now, years later, one spouse has stopped talking to his/her partner, the marriage is in trouble. Sometimes it means your partner has “moved on” and is possibly talking to someone else. Or perhaps you have criticised your partner so often and so extremely, that he/she has simply ceased to respond. Whatever the cause, a lack of communication is fatal in any marriage.

DAYDREAMING ABOUT DIVORCE

If you spend a lot of time contemplating a life without your partner, your marriage is already in serious trouble. Happily married people do not think about divorce. They may joke about it, but they know it’s not in the cards for them. Even more worrying is when you have considered where and how you are going to live in your new life. That is an exit strategy and a significant sign your union is in peril.

YOU ONLY REMEMBER SAD TIMES

If you cannot remember the last time you were happy in your marriage, why are you married? Assuming you are an average, normal person who was not subject to constant depression or unhappiness prior to your marriage, your new state of anxiety may have a root cause: your marriage. Sometimes it makes sense not to weave elaborate theories. If your marriage makes you constantly depressed, this is a clear sign you need to make a change.

In these recent posts, I have headlined, without elaboration, my observations on what I have seen with clients through the years. If you are unfortunate to discover yourself in one or more of these conditions, by all means seek help. Preferably therapy first, but if that is not available contact your lawyer.

If you wish to schedule an initial consultation please contact me at 212-605-0435 or 516-280-3123.