Should you get a Divorce?: Part I

After a long professional career representing clients in divorce, I have discerned a number of early warning signs that your marriage is in trouble. This blog will review some of those signs.

EVERYTHING BECOMES A FIGHT

When you and your spouse fight all the time about everything and anything, this is a sign that your marriage is in serious trouble. Second, how do you fight? Some healthy marriages enjoy a certain amount of sparring and there is no problem with that. However, if the fighting becomes personal, you have to consider if you want to remain in a constant state of confrontation.

NOT FIGHTING

This sounds like a joke after my first point. What I am getting at here is, if you never disagree, perhaps you are not being honest with each other. A lack of honesty in a marriage will eat away at the underpinnings of your marriage until the entire structure explodes.

HAVING AN AFFAIR

If your spouse has an affair that he/she refuses to quit, you have been betrayed. Trust in gone in your marriage and you cannot exist in a relationship where there are three, and not two, people involved. Serial cheaters do not get it: marriage is a monogamous institution. Maybe there are people who disagree, but I have not encountered them in my practice.

YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CRITICIZING EACH OTHER

It’s one thing to disagree with a spouse and it’s even praiseworthy to educate a spouse on certain topics, but once your disapproval changes to disapproving of your spouse as a person, then it’s far more serious. The spouse who is constantly criticising his/her spouse is destroying the marriage. You cannot focus all the time on what is wrong in your relationship. Instead, the focus should be on what is right about it. Remember, unrestrained criticism can evolve into contempt.

If you wish to schedule an initial consultation please contact me at 212-605-0435 or 516-280-3123.